Tuesday, January 05, 2021

You might already be familiar with Gerald's picture if you read the society pages. A few weeks ago, Gerald was best known for being the arm candy of Lady Adeline (again, if you bothered to read the society pages, you’d know exactly who I was talking about), a very wealthy woman from my neighborhood with a reputation less for her charm and more for her extravagant spending habits. The most expensive thing she ever bought by far, though, was the glamourous Gerald, who she took up with after almost hitting him with her limo. After a whirlwind and confusing courtship of two-and-a-half weeks of fancy dining in restaurants usually off-limits to squirrels, decadent shopping sprees, and one very exciting, near-fatal airplane ride (Gerald had never been in a plane before, and was so terrified he ended up attacking the pilot), the two were married in a quiet ceremony in Lady Adeline’s back yard. Tragically, later that evening, Adeline passed away at the banquet table, her mouth full of wedding cake, leaving everything to little Gerald, who has since been completely cleared of suspicion by the police.

No comments: