Friday, October 09, 2020

Up until a week ago, Frank was a perfectly-ordinary squirrel. But either some new toxin got in the water supply, or he was exposed to radiation in his sleep, or some scientist abducted him and tested a slew of chemicals on him, because now, Frank is a gigantic squirrel, and seems to be getting bigger and bigger every day. See these houses? He used to sneak in and out of a hole in the attic of the orange one, and he was so small the owners of the house barely even noticed he was there! He knows he’s too big for this neighborhood now, but this is where he grew up, and where his family lives, so he just keeps coming back, despite the terror he inspires in all his thoroughly-confused loved ones, who just can’t believe that this is the same Frank who used to chatter at them from the treetops.


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