This is Beth, or, as her clients know her, Madame B. Ever since she was a little squirrel, Madame B has been able to predict the future, whether it be the sudden changing of a traffic light from red to green, or where the other squirrels will bury their nuts and bits of donut. And while all the other squirrels freak out at the appearance of a full-grown adult by the bird feeder, Madame B always knows that none of the people were there to harm any squirrels—they're usually just there to fill the bird feeder or pick something out of the garden, and even the dog that sometimes comes out with them is too well-fed and lazy to be a problem. There’s a very good chance that what squirrels call “premonition” is really just “short-term memory,” but we don’t know that for sure, do we? Call her today to find out YOUR future, for the low price of one 56-ounce can of Planter’s mixed nuts per minute.