Alice is a very smart squirrel from across the alley. Once a week, Alice come to my yard to play chess with her friend 627-F, who not only had to learn how to play chess from Alice, but has yet to learn how to beat her. When Alice isn’t here, and is off doing squirrel things, 627-F spends its time reading books about chess, playing chess against other computers, and asking for advice from chess masters around the world on how to beat Alice at her favorite game. However, every Saturday, each game ends the same, with 627-F reluctantly admitting defeat and having to concede that perhaps squirrels are just better than robots, even in this. There are those that say chess is a metaphor for life, but those people are usually incredibly annoying and should learn to shut up.